Joshua Ryan

Designer, maker, avid baker.


There is a belief in Chinese culture that two people are tied together through fate by a red thread. As an adoptee this thread is often missing or broken. To find their birth family an adoptee may root trace. Root tracing is the process an adoptee goes through to find their “roots”, connecting them to their birth family. And through root tracing one may reconnect this thread of fate.

Book Cover 

“Mother, Where are You?” explores the narratives around my own root tracing, giving a glimpse of an adoptees experience of loss and journey as I look for answers. The process of finding my birth mother is shown through the correspondences betwenn the various people involved in my search to find my birth mother.

I want to allow readers to go through the process with me and understand my feelings and thoughts about my root tracing. And though I want readers to unders to understand that there is loss and confusion, I also want them to understand that there is hope and optimism as well.